Archive for the ‘Family & Parenting’ Category

Last week, Venla had what appeared at the time to be a seizure (she’s totally fine by the way, in case you’re worrying!). So, taking no chances, the daycare rang for an ambulance. It’s standard procedure for under-twos to be taken to hospital. Here are a few observations.

The NHS staff were lovely

At every step, we ran into nice people. It started with our paramedic who I loved, not just because his name is also Chris, but also because he too could make a passible career as a Ross Nobel impersonator.

Everyone was good with kids and happy to see Venla. Now, you might think that was a given, given that we went to children’s A&E and then the children’s observation unit. But, when Elina gave birth to Venla, one of the pediatric consultants came around to check on her and he was completely flummoxed by her clothing fastening system, complaining he always got it wrong. Apparently, you can work with babies for your whole career and still not really know what to do. None of this this time.

Hospitals are ill-prepared for healthy curious children

Venla was pretty unhappy at daycare and in the ambulance (constantly switching between crying and excited yelling “in a nee-naw!”) but once we got to hospital she quickly returned to her usual self.

This was okay in the waiting room where they had toys and walls to contain her. But once we were in an examination room, or worse the ward of the CAT unit, she couldn’t care less about the toys. All she wanted to do was touch every expensive medal device and open every draw she could find.

She could easily do this because many of the draws were placed at an excellent height for a toddler. Worse, many of them were open-sided to allow medical staff to grab items quickly in an emergency. It also allows toddlers to grab things.

It occurs to me that hospitals are used to dealing with docile sick children who cuddle up with their parents. Or maybe who feel well enough to push some buttons or do a bit of colouring. But a curious child like Venla, who feels back to her full strength. That has trouble written all over it. After five hours of chasing her up and down hospital corridors and around hospital wards, we were both exhausted.

There is a lot of inefficient beaurcacy

At least it feels inefficient. Maybe it is there for a reason. But I was ill prepared for the whole process.

When we got to daycare, the daycare staff were telling the paramedic what had happened. I assumed the paramedic would be taking notes and these notes would then be handed on to the rest of the hospital staff.

But we were asked to describe what had happened. Even though we weren’t there. When I was getting a brief summary from the paramedic and the daycare staff, I didn’t realise that I should have been taking notes because I was going to be tested on it later.

But apparently, I was. First by the nurse in A&E, then the A&E doctor, then the A&E nursery nurse, then the CAT unit nurse, then the CAT unit doctor. Even though neither of us had witnessed it. Why the notes weren’t simply handed over is unclear.

The whole thing was free

It was nice to be left with a bill of £0, which would have been tens of euros in Finland, or tens of thousands in the United States. Which, for a Friday night out as a family, seems like a cheap win.

Venla has been running around for a while now. She never stops. I’m tempted to attach my Garmin to her and see how many steps she does each day. Recently, though, we’ve moved up to walking outside. She has walked home from daycare a few times.

Daycare closed on World Book Day because of the Beast from the East. They re-scheduled it for a week later, which meant it fell on International Women’s Day. So, we sent Venla as Offred.

Unfortunately, Venla had no interest in supporting her fellow women by representing the irrepressible spirit of a character who fought against the ultimate patriarchy. She only wore her cloak for two minutes and refused to wear her bonnet at all. Or, perhaps she was signalling her intention to attack the State of Gilead before it is even formed. Only time will tell.

A few weeks ago, we attended my Auntie Doreen’s 90th birthday party. It was an afternoon tea at a working men’s club. It’s not a venue that would have struck me as being good at afternoon tea.

Yet, ironically, they can serve a decent afternoon tea. What they can’t do, is serve decent beer or properly mixed coke. But who needs such things when you have high-quality cake.

Venla had a giraffe of a time. That’s like a whale of a time, except she was on a giraffe.

Last year we bought a Christmas ham the same size as Venla.

This year, that proved impossible. We went to Makro to buy the biggest ham we could, but they topped out at 6kg. Venla now weighs 11kg, so we’re not even close. That is probably for the best, though. It takes us a full week to eat through 6kg of gammon.

We outdid ourselves with toilet rolls, too.

There was a big difference in Venla between her birthday two months ago, and Christmas. She wasn’t that interested in unwrapping at her birthday but now she delights in it.

This has trouble written all over it.

We dropped by Jane’s house to pick up several bags of donations she had kindly sorted out for the Holiday Food Drive. Venla had a brilliant time. When she wasn’t petting Jane’s dogs she was climbing up and down the stairs.

Earlier this month, Elina and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. By my calculations, we will probably get in another two after this, before the divorce year. So, it’s important we make the most of them.

Storm Ophelia was sweeping in. However, given the very limited amount of baby-free time we get, we decided to brave it and cycle up to Appley Bridge for a pub lunch.

The food at the Stansfield Arms was okay. They put onion in Elina’s salad, despite us requesting it to be onion-free. When they returned from the kitchen with a new one, it still stank of onion, so we had to give that a wide berth.

On the ride home, we were treated to a beautiful sky.

Venla is now a year old. How time flies, etc. Grandma and Grandad were kind enough to host her birthday party, which was attended by friends and family alike. Of course, it’s quite easy to get most of your friends there when you’re only 12 months old and have two friends.

She received so many presents that we had to bring them back to our flat in two journies. Ah to be a child again.

Last month, we celebrated my Gran’s 90th birthday with a family party. Much like the family party we had two years ago, we were once again blessed with good weather. And excellent company, of course.

It is safe to say that Venla is now more dangerous than ever. She can shuffle. And she is quickly perfecting the art of speed shuffling: every day it gets faster. Which means she can get to draws, and pans, and balconies.

Time for shopping.

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