Archive for the ‘Family & Parenting’ Category

Missing out on the latest Venla pictures? You probably need to follow me on Instagram. For those of you who are not down with the kids, here are some photos…

Venla learnt to wave last month. SHe’s enjoying it.

In May, we went back to Leeds SOUP to report on the progress at Anxiety Leeds. Venla screamed her head off last time, so this time I took her up to the front to give the talk with me. She seemed much happier in the limelight.

We went for a walk along the canal and let Venla sit in the grass. She was not sure about it at first but got used to it after a while.

You know Oreo’s? The biscuit that nobody likes because once you take the cream away from them they are just this really dry, flavourless biscuit? Well, turns out they are incredibly chocolatey in the right hands. This was shortly before Venla sent my cocktail glass smashing to the ground.

In March, we held a naming ceremony for Venla. How time flies. She is now seven months old and I still haven’t written anything up about it. Thank you to everyone who attended, especially those who took part in the ceremony and Christine for leading it.

Venla hasn’t started with solids yet. But we have been giving her some things to try.

Like this plate, for example.

I don’t know why they make baby’s spoons out of rubber. It essentially turns them into a catapult, allowing them to fling food right across the room.

Normal human beings shouldn’t be able to eat a lemon without wincing, right?

Family parking spots always seemed like an unnecessary thing to me. Sure, the extra space is nice. But that would be nice for everybody. Adults need to be able to get out of the car, too. It is not like families are disabled: why should they get preferential parking right next to the shop?

Now that I have a family, they still seem silly. I’m not going to unilaterally disarm by not using them, of course. That would be stupid. But I’m not convinced that any of us really need the parking spots to be there.

Indeed, they are not there in many car parks, and somehow we manage to survive.

Another oddity is that Homebase have family parking, but no changing facilities. That would have been a much welcome addition when Venla decided that mid-trip was the appropriate time to start screaming.

On Thursday, Venla reached the grand old age of 5 months. She celebrated in the usual way: by doing a lot of crying and screaming.

Unfortunately, as people have a habit of doing, she overindulged a little. Soon she was passed out on the sofa.

With most products you can find in the shops, there are premium brands and supermarket brands. Is it worth paying the extra money for? It varies from product to product, but often the answer is no. Can you tell the difference between Kellogg’s corn flakes and supermarket corn flakes? My guess is that if you did not have the box there in front of you, you couldn’t.

Sometimes, the supermarket own brand products are made by the premium brand companies and simply re-packed. This is not always true, though: some products there is a measurable difference and the only way to work it out is to try them. Bare in mind though that there is also the placebo effect. You may think something tastes better simply because you paid more for it. It is clear that people cannot tell the difference between cheap and expensive wine for example.

But what about nappies?

According to the independent consumer magazine Which, the answer is yes and no. Based on their surveys, Pampers do indeed come top being rated as the best nappies you can get. However, they do not score well in one category: value for money. In comparison, some supermarket own brands, including Aldi, score almost as well while being much, much cheaper. How your supermarket fares depends on where you shop: see Which Magazine for full details.

My personal experience mirrors the findings of Which. Pampers are great: they have a wetness indicator on the front and the mesh lining inside them means the waste seeps through while Venla’s bottom is given a bit more protection. For us, it is worth the extra £3 a week we spend to upgrade.

It may come down with how much you want to spend. The premium brands do seem to be slightly better, but for the increased cost means that it is certainly worth trying the cheaper versions first.

Sleeping might seem like the last thing you should be doing when your wife has gone into labour. But there is a good reason to get some rest.

She has gone into labour, while you are snoring your head off in the bed next to her. Something wrong? You might think you should be awake to support her, but there is a good reason for you to be asleep.

Millions of years of evolution have made mammals pretty good at giving birth. Like breathing, most of it happens automatically. Hormones pulse around your body, directing your emotions and subtlety controlling your behaviour.

One of the hardest things about labour is not the pain itself, it is the sheer exhaustion of the whole thing. You can be in labour for days, with little or no sleep, and yet somehow women find the strength to go on. They do so because their body makes sure they do, injecting careful amounts of oxytocin and adrenaline at the required times.

Birth partners do not have the benefit of this of course. Things have changed a lot in the past 50 years. We are no longer in the waiting room with a cigar; now we are at our partner’s side helping her through the birth. Mother Nature has not cottoned on to this, though, and leaves us with a few vicarious hormones at best.

So, after 72 hours of sleep deprivation, exactly how helpful are you going to be as a birth partner? This is an important question because when your partner reaches transition, she is going to rely on your support to get through it. If you are barely functioning because you have had no sleep, you are not going to be in a great shape to do that.

Sleeping through half of the labour might seem a selfish thing to do. In reality, though, a somewhat rested birth partner is going be to able to offer far more support than one who is utterly exhausted.

Waiting for the labour pains with a well-timed “I told you so” might seem like a good idea, but turns out not to be if you like your balls attached to your body.

The active birth movement has now been going for 50 years and is almost certainly here to stay. That makes sense. Research suggests that active birth reduces the number of complications and interventions, and allows the mother to recover quicker.

As with everything in pregnancy, though, there are benefits and there are also drawbacks.

First, labour can be really painful. It varies from person to person and from birth to birth, but often the amount of pain management required is going to be dictated by the situation.

Second, not everything goes to plan. So you may be planning to have an active birth but the situation could change quickly if there are any issues with labour. Therefore it is important to go in with a mindset of being ready to adapt to the changes required.

How should you handle it? The most important step is to be supportive. Active birth offers a lot more chance for the father to be involved, supporting your partner through the process and helping with non-drug based pain relief (such as massage, and helping her in and out of the bath).

It is also important to be supportive if things to not go to plan. If she decides she does need pain relief after all, remember to reassure her that almost everyone does, and there is no “failure” in resorting to it.

Overall, active birth is a great decision, especially for dads. The advantage is the reduced chance of intervention, and the disadvantages of additional pain are only felt by the father vicariously.

Some people’s day will start with breakfast in bed. In the Worfolk household, this is true also. Venla will be having her breakfast in bed. Our bed, not her own.

As a special Valentine’s Day treat, we may both shower.

Upon returning home, gifts will be exchanged. One gift. Elina will hand me a baby and go for a nap.

Finally, at the end of the day, we will collapse into bed exhausted. But not embracing, because that would wake up the baby.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Do you know how many photos you have to take before you can get one of a smiling baby? The answer is a lot.