Chris Worfolk's Blog

When I started on Crime and Punishment I expected a rather long and drawn-out exploration of human psychology. What I found was a rather short story about a murderer. Perhaps it would have been longer if I had not have stopped reading after the murder itself, but with the main event over, I assume the rest was just a conclusion (it is difficult to tell with Kindle editions).

The important thing is that I learned murdering people can be bad, because you might feel about it afterwards.

Elina said that Sofia Semyonovna was her favourite character when she read it. She was quite offended when I suggested that might be because they are both of a similar personality. I am not sure whether there was a tension point because of the home truths in this statement, or because Sofia had worked as a prostitute, while Elina never has (to my knowledge).

Rick Warren is probably a bad man. He doesn’t like gay marriage. It doesn’t support gay rights. He doesn’t like the idea of two men having anal sex with each other, even though he has never tried it. But my god (pun intended) does he know how to run a church.

The Purpose Driven Church talks about grow to run a church, which a specific reference to how we started Saddleback Church in California – that now has 20,000 a week attending. It is a gold mine of information. A lot of the strategies he discusses are things I found very effective in running Atheist Society, and there is so much more besides that.

There is a lot of stuff about Jesus in there, as you would expect, but still a useful book for anyone running a Humanist group, Sunday Assembly, etc.

Recently, I wrote about some of the poor user experience encountered when using HSBC’s online banking.

Today, I am going to show you how to fix some of it. These instructions are for users of the Google Chrome web browser. If you use Mozilla Firefox, you can probably achieve a similar effect using Greesemonkey.

Tampermonkey is a browser add-on that allows you to run custom user scripts on existing websites. The first thing you will need to do is install it.

Once you have done that, the Tampermonkey icon will appear in your browser. Click this and when the menu appears select “Add a new script…”. Wait for the page to load, then copy and paste the following in:

// ==UserScript==
// @name       HSBC online banking
// @namespace  https://www.business.hsbc.co.uk/
// @version    0.1
// @description  Improves HSBC's online banking
// @match      https://www.business.hsbc.co.uk/*
// @copyright  2014
// @require http://code.jquery.com/jquery-latest.js
// ==/UserScript==

$('#benSortCode').attr('size', '8');
$('#benAccountNumber').attr('size', '10');

This code will then be run every time you access a HSBC online banking page. So, as if by magic, when you try and create a new payee, the boxes will be big enough:

HSBC have had a number of what I would consider problems with their websites for the many years that I have banked with them. A few years ago I submitted an online feedback form, but nothing changed, so last month I wrote them a letter (as you do when you get to my age).

It would be nice if they could find the time to fix these issues. They recently had time to issue me a new, more complicated, security device and add an annoying pop-up trying to get me to install their Rapport malware for example. However, they have not had time to make their passwords case sensitive.

I really don’t know how these issues arise in the first place though. As I told them in my letter.

4 June 2014

RE: INTERNET BANKING

To Whom It May Concern:

I have been unable to locate a postal or email address for your internet banking service, so I have resorted to writing to the branch and hope that you will be able to pass it on to the relevant parties.

Over the past few years I have consistently run into a problem with your internet banking for my personal account.

When I go to “make a payment” I have the option of selecting “pay a bill or organisation” or “pay family, friends or other”.

I need to make a payment to HMRC, to which I am given the account number and sort code. But when I go to “family, friends or other” and try and enter the account details it says the payee already exists and that I must use “pay a bill or organisation”.

When I go to “pay a bill or organisation” I then have to select HMRC and then select one of their tax offices. But I have no idea which office I am supposed to pay. All I have is that the account name is HMRC and then I have the sort code and account number.

I do not for the life of me understand why you will not let me make a payment in the usual way using the sort code and account number.

However, even if we overlook that, how you expect anyone else to translate nonsense phrases likes “HMRC NIC DEF PYT”. I don’t know what that is! How is anybody supposed to know?

I have included a printed-out screenshot of the bewildering screen.

I think at very least you should list the sort code and account number next to each entry, and use descriptive names for them, so that we can check we are paying the right account. Better still, just allow people to make payments using the sort code and account number like you would reasonably expect to be able to do at any bank.

MAKING PAYMENTS ON BUSINESS BANKING

Another piece of feedback I think is important is regarding your business internet banking. When you go to make a payment on there, you are able to go to “new payee” and enter the account details.

However the sort code is only 4 characters wide and the account number box is only 6 characters wide.

As you know, sort codes are 6 characters long and account numbers are 8 characters long.

This means that it is very difficult to check you have entered the correct account number and sort code because they do not fit in the box at the same time. I have enclosed a printed-out screenshot with this letter to demonstrate the problem.

As a software consultant, I have literally no idea how this situation could arise. Surely, if even the most basic testing can been carried out on your website, someone would have spotted that this was a significant design defect.

I would suggest that the boxes are extended so that you are actually able to see both the sort code and account number.

Yours faithfully,
Chris Worfolk

I received a letter back from them saying they had passed my feedback on. The issues still seem to be on their website though, as shown by this screenshot:

Clearly there is not enough space in those boxes to enter the account number and sort-code and be able to see the full number to check you have entered in correctly. I would not even dare pass that code to a tester; Chris K would be appalled.

If I ever get the time I am going to write a browser plugin to fix these issues myself.

Last month I received a set of bank statements for a bank I have never been a customer of.

9 June 2014

Dear Lloyds Bank:

Please find enclosed some documents that you recently sent me out of the blue. I am not sure why these documents were sent to be as I am not, nor have I ever been, a Lloyds Bank customer. I used to have a Lloyds TSB account, but I closed that down several years ago.

Yours faithfully,
Chris Worfolk

A month later and I have heard nothing back. So I sent them another letter.

14 July 2014

RE: NOT A CUSTOMER

To Whom It May Concern:

Following on from my letter sent to you on 9 June 2014, I enclose further documents you have sent to me. I once again remind you that I am not a customer of Lloyds Bank. If you continue to hold my personal details without my consent, or continue to send me unsolicited mail, I will file a complaint with the Financial Ombudsman Service.

Yours faithfully,
Chris Worfolk

After they they called me and said they were sorting out and would be sending me £30 compensation.

Briggate, Leeds. 6 July 2014.

Earlier this month I ran the first of two Area Training days for Toastmasters.

We held it at the Holiday Inn Express in Hull. This is a venue that Hull Speakers use for the regular meetings and makes for a great choice – everything ran really smoothly, lunch was good, and it is easy to get in and out of. Hull is usually a bit of a grim place to visit, but at least the M62 is usually quiet and the drive across Yorkshire and down the estuary past the Humber Bridge is comparatively pretty.

Thank you to everyone who attended and made the day a success. A special thank you to Shelagh, Jane and Michael who presented workshops.

Earlier this month, Yorkshire welcomed the Tour de France to Yorkshire for the Grand Depart. Or “T’ Big Setting Off” as we call it in Yorkshire.

People have gone all out for it. There are bikes, artwork, banners, signs everywhere. Even people nowhere near the route have a bike on the wall and a transfer on their shop window.

The turnout was incredible too. So much so that an hour before the race started the police closed off the road to pedestrians and stopped letting anyone else through. All along the route it was stacked with people half a dozen deep.

You would have to have a heart of stone to suggest seeing that wasn’t worth waiting for.

When I was twelve I spent six hours in 35 degree heat waiting for a Space Shuttle to take off. Finally we saw this little dot disappear into the distance and then in the silence some kid said “is that it?” As good as that was, it can’t really compare to seeing the photo above.

Nevertheless, it makes you proud to be Yorkshire. If you have a fancy bike ride you need hosting, we’re your people.

Well this feels a lot more official now.