Posts Tagged ‘pregnancy’

She’s Having a Baby – and I’m Having a Breakdown is a 1998 book by James Douglas Barron. You can tell it has been around a while because you have to get a physical copy of it: no ebook or audiobook, just one of those old-fashioned tree-based things.

It was recommended to me by a friend and is designed to offer helpful advice to men.

It certainly has the format right. It is a bullet pointed list of 237 things. That is more than the amount of pages in the book. Each has a heading and a paragraph of text to read, making it very easy to consume. You can pick it up and read a little bit more in a minute, or you can find yourself spending an hour on it, telling yourself you will just read one more entry.

I found it was showing its age. Or perhaps its target demographic. It is clearly written by an involved dad, but feels like it was from a time when that was not the usual situation.

The advice contained in it is useful stuff to know, but I don’t feel like I learned much. Perhaps it helped reinforce what I had already guessed (be nice to your wife, buy a carseat, things will change, etc) and a few things I perhaps didn’t expect, but nothing I felt I would have missed if I had not read the book. It was quite a good laugh though.

Elina and I are pleased to announce that Baby Worfolk is on the way.

If you are wondering what we are having, we have had a scan and they have confirmed: it’s a human! It doesn’t look like one yet. It will be here by the end of year, so you will be able to buy it Christmas presents. The scan suggested it would enjoy chocolate, Terry Pratchett books and guitars.

At the West Yorkshire Humanists March lecture Professor Karl Atkin, head of the University of York’s Health Sciences department, presented a talk on genetic screening during pregnancy.

Much of the screening has only been introduced in the past 10-20 years, and with generic screening becoming more common, Professor Atkin asked whether we were having the right discussions about ethics as we proceed.

Condoms are fantastic, they protect against pregnancy and STIs. They’re increased usage has massively reduced the number of people dying from such diseases and reduced the number of unwanted pregnancies, leading to lower crime levels too.

But there is one massive problem with them. After you’ve engaged in foreplay and your penis is full erect and ready to go, the last thing you want to do is stop in the middle of it all and put a condom on.

Also, what if you can’t find a condom? That is a nightmare situation to be in. Do you stop? What else can you do? Put on a very, very baggy pair of trousers and hot foot it down to the local convenience store?

The reason I mention it is because I recently had a discussion with a good friend of mine. We both consider ourselves to be quite intelligent, well educated, rational human beings. Yet, we have both, at previous points in our lives, been in a situation where we were in the middle of foreplay and found ourselves unable to find a condom.

Interestingly, we both had the same thought process – “can I just risk it? It will probably be OK…” Luckily, we both came to the same conclusion, that it wasn’t worth the risk. But I had to think about it for a 30 seconds.

So here is my concern. If me and my friends are having to have a serious think about whether we could justify risking having unprotected sex with a new partner, what about people who are less well educated?

Actually, is it any wonder that so many people do have unprotected sex? When you’re in the middle of it, your rational mind is otherwise occupied and while I’ve never engaged in it, it really took some thinking to decide that and so I can easily understand why other people may end up making less wise decisions.

It probably goes as far as justifying why 14% of students had unprotected sex in Freshers’ Week.

How do we tackle such a problem? I guess the answer would be education. Restlessly drilling into people that you absolutely always do need to use a condom when having sex with a new partner. But the rational part of the mind is quickly overwhelmed by the emotional one and in some ways, we may be fighting a losing battle.