Archive for the ‘Distractions’ Category

The 2013 NFL Draft starts tonight! Prior to the actual draft, a number of people produce a mock draft, showing their predictions as to what teams will draft what players, including Kiper, Scouts Inc and ESPN bloggers.

While I won’t claim to be an expert in NFL drafting, I have produced a mock of my own, showing what would happen if franchises were allowed to draft Chuck Norris. Obviously, being Chuck Norris he would be able to play every position, for all teams simultaneously, and thus this has been reflected in the mock.

After an extensive hiatus, in which it was basically ended but then it turned out that none of the actors really had much to do, Red Dwarf returned with a ninth series in 2009 with Back to Earth. It was disappointing.

Thankfully, when it returned for a full six episode series in 2012, it was much improved. Instead of trying some kind of clever, existential plot, they just made six episoded of The Dwarf, as if nothing had changed. The result is that it worked! Six more classic episodes added to the series, without ruining the legacy.

The letter campaign starts here.

To Whom It May Concern:

I have long been a fan of your restaurant, which I believe to be the finest Thai restaurant in Leeds.

One of the reasons I have enjoyed your restaurant so much is that you had a dish which consisted of Thai curry sauce, in a Yorkshire pudding, on a steak. As you’re no doubt aware, this is a dish that consists of the three most awesome foods in existence, and was therefore the greatest dish ever.

However, while dining at your restaurant in February, it appeared that the item had been removed from your menu.

If indeed it has been removed, I believe this to be a grave mistake, and one that I would implore you to reconsider.

Your restaurant created what is almost certainly the greatest dish that ever has existed and ever will exist, and for it to be lost forever to the annuals of history would be a great tragedy.

Please consider reintroducing it onto your menu.

Yours faithfully,
Rev Chris Worfolk

Since sending this, I received a very nice reply from Chaophraya saying my feedback would be considered at their regular menu reviews.

Last weekends Malaysian grand prix turned out to be a bit of a sour one.

There was simply outright anger between Mark Webber and Sebastian Vettel, as Mark thought he deserved to have the race win, while Lewis Hamilton felt similarly guilty about taking third place ahead of team-mate Nico Hulkenberg one suspects entirely due to team orders.

As I mentioned in my post about the Australian GP, being a Button fan is only ever going to end in disappointment, as he retired only a few laps before the end of the race, with Di Resta well below him and Max Chilton spent most the race in last place – only Hamilton was flying the flag for Britain, and that was in dubious circumstances too.

Meanwhile, over in my adoptive nation, Kimi Raikkonen only managed 7th. Let’s hope for better results in China.

Seems like no time at all since we started the 2012 Grand Pix season, yet here we are, back at Albert Park for the start of the 2013 season. Indeed, by the time this is actually published we’ll probably be a few races in!

As a Jenson Button you would think I would be used to constant disappointment by now, but unfortunately not, as I watched him cruise home to 9th place, beaten by fellow Brit Paul Di Resta in his Force India, while Lewis Hamilton led the way for British drivers, finishing 5th.

Luckily, as an adopted Finn (I assume, Elina’s mum seems to like me), I can of course now legitimately support both nations and luckily for me, Formula One, along with rally driving and ice hockey, is one of the few sports that Finns are really good at. Kimi Raikkonen might be the only Finn in the sport at the moment, but what does that matter when he leads the world championship.

A bit late, but I found this while clearing out my computer and realised I never posted it.

The Simpsons has entertained the world for a quarter of a century. Star Trek has become one of the biggest cultural phenomenons of the 20th century. But there is one TV franchise that has arguably eclipsed them all. That franchise, is Miami Vice creator Dick Wolf’s Law & Order.

While other glitzy shows such as CSI: Crime Scene Investigation focused on solving exciting crimes and interpersonal relationships, one man had the vision to predict that what people really wanted, was a show about the paperwork, procedure and bureaucracy of the justice system.

It’s interesting then, that so many people may not have heard of Law & Order, even fewer will have watched an episode – at least in comparison to The Simpsons, which everyone ever has seen.

But the figures don’t lie. In terms of longevity, Law & Order has provided a staying power that is arguable unmatched by anything else the TV studies of the United States have ever produced.

The Simpsons has produced 24 seasons, with no spin off shows. Even if you throw in Futurama, that only takes them to 28.

Star Trek produced three original series, seven of The Next Generation, seven of Deep Space Nine, seven of Voyager and five of Enterprise, as well as one animated series – giving them a total of 30.

Meanwhile, the Law & Order franchise has produced…

• Law & Order (20 series)
• Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (14 series and counting)
• Law & Order: Criminal Intent (10 series)
• Law & Order: Trial by Jury (1 series)
• Law & Order: LA (1 series)

That makes a total of 46 seasons, with SVU still going, and that isn’t counting Law & Order: UK which has been going since 2009, and similar versions in Paris and Moscow as well.

No, he hasn’t announced another documentary.

But he has done what some might consider the next best thing – and produced not one, but two lists of documentaries that he thinks are awesome. I haven’t checked any of them out yet, but I plan to. You can find the lists here and here.

Having been struck down with the flu most of last week, I’ve been spending a lot of time in bed, watching Jonathan Creek.

It’s actually not that old, the first episode was broadcast in 1997, but it’s certainly starting to show its age. Floppy disks, VHS cassettes, an age before you could and would look up everything on the internet – it feels like a historial drama now. Not to mention that the first few episodes weren’t even in widescreen.

It also left me with a very torn feeling – I don’t want to move out of the city but at the same time, I now have a strong desire to live in a windmill. Tough call.

I’m also very pleased to see that they are making a brand new episode of Jonathan Creek, that will appear this Easter as a one off feature length episode!

Just need a new Louis Theroux documentary now and it will be the best Easter ever…

Last week, we all gathered round to watch the third most watched sporting event in the world – the Super Bowl.

Actually, I don’t know where those figures are from. The reality is, we have almost no idea what the most watched events in the world are, but if we did, it probably would point to the Olympics. But it’s safe to say a fair few people were watching with us.

While ultimately, my favourite team, the San Francisco 49ers, lost to the Baltimore Ravens, a good night was had by all, and no one went away bitter about the fact that the 49ers only lost because the judges refused to throw a flag for the blatant pass interference against Michael Crabtree on the 4th and goal that decided the match. No one.

As usual at these sorts of events, we made too much food, allowing us to spend another two days living off ribs and wings – and what a happy two days they were.

It is also worth noting that Chris Culliver netted himself $40,000 for his appearance – more than a lot of my friends earn in an entire year. I guess homophobia does pay after all. I hate it when life works out like that.